What a day! Reflecting on Reading Pride 2023

It’s been nearly 4 weeks since Reading Pride 2023. I’m sitting looking at the blank document on my laptop screen waiting for me to put words to my experience. Waiting for me to paint you a picture of what it was like and what it meant to me. It has such significance for me that I simultaneously have so many words that are tripping over themselves trying to get out and none at all because how can mere words do justice to the emotional experience?

I think the most fitting way to start is to extend my biggest thanks to those who support me. My partner is wonderfully patient with me asking for feedback on various designs and materials, freely offers the help in transporting, setting up and looking after everything on the day. The takedown process is made so much easier for his help and he is always there for the emotional support too. If you stopped by on the day, you’ll have seen him wearing arguably my most favouritest t-shirt ever! My friends have been delightfully forthcoming with support too and having them visit us at the stall with smiles, hugs and words of encouragement is fantastic. I am fortunate enough that some of my clients (current and former) are local and attend Reading Pride too so they stop by as well with huge smiles and brimming with all the positive feels that being amongst people who accept you brings. I had the most brilliant surprise this year with people who remembered us from last year stopping by as well! Some of them were giving great feedback about the podcast that I have promised myself for a while now that I will revive, others loved the wristbands I give away and others were relishing in the return of the chalkboards. There were obviously also people who were completely new to me and Carole Diane Coaching and it was so heartwarming to see all of the people who were responding positively to my presence at Reading Pride. I don’t have much support from my own family so it’s especially touching to see the families at Pride. I did shed some very happy tears at a couple of points because this event is a huge deal to me and the act of contributing to it in such a positive way is just awesome. 

I am privileged to be able to take the chalkboards home and revisit the contributions people have made across the day. We take photos too so that I have a record of what people have written to look back on and to share with you all. This year’s question was “What makes you feel safe and supported?” and some of the responses have been fantastic! Below you can see photos of the chalkboards from the end of the day. Can you spot yours?

Here’s a word cloud I’ve put together with some of the responses and themes from this year’s boards.

There is a lot that goes into making this stall happen, emotionally as well as logistically. I get an attack of nerves that starts at least one day before and lasts until things have properly kicked off. It’s the unknown that gets me. Will I forget something? Will people respond positively? Am I going to give a good impression? Will the new aspects work out OK? (I had a new banner which hadn’t ever been used and while I knew it looked good, I was unsure it would work well with the set up - especially since my partner is tall and would need to duck under it!) Once the first couple of conversations have been had, all of those concerns quieten and I’m just focused on having a great time! I get a bit sad sometimes that I don’t get to be a member of the public at Reading Pride because I’m there in a working capacity, but at those points I need to remember the wonderful moments I wouldn’t see otherwise and the enjoyment that my partner and I both get. 

This was my second year having a professional presence at Reading Pride and my stall was better than last year. One of the things that was different was I had four different Pride flags up, each of them representing me. The asexual flag, agender flag, polyamorous flag (now we have one that actually looks cool!) and the bisexual flag. It was truly awesome to have someone approach me and remark on how they felt seen by my flying the agender flag. It is relatively unknown even within LGBTQ spaces so having this part of me seen by another and having them see themselves represented like that too makes my heart swell.

It also strikes me as important to see some responses on these boards that acknowledge the existence and experiences of the global majority. Anti-oppressive approaches encompass more than gender and sexuality diversity - they make space for everyone in the therapy and coaching worlds. This is key if we want to truly be welcoming and accepting of the diversity of humans and something I work to bring to all my work with clients. The mentions specifically of Black women and LGBTQ+ Arabs feels significant because, while they are only two responses, they are the ones that acknowledge our community is racially diverse even when this is not always reflected in the attendance of various events specifically catering for the LGBTQ community and certainly not in the local kink events.

I’m already working out what tweaks I can make to improve it for 2024 as well which is fun. I am proud of what I brought to the community again this year and I am happy to say that I have the ability to take learnings from it too. I am committed to continuing to contribute to this event which means so much to me. A focus on the message that LGBTQ mental health matters and on building a positive, accepting and supportive environment at Pride are both incredibly important to me. Will I see you at Reading next year?

Keep tuned as that podcast really will be making a comeback! 🙂